The Smile That Wasn't Mine
by Akiyotame
Summary: One Shot - Semi AU. Umi is confused about her feelings for Kotori. However, Kotori has feelings for Honoka instead. Unable to cope, Umi finds unexpected help from Eli. I wrote this a while back and forgot to put it up, I don't think it's my best work so I hope you enjoy anyways.


The deep blue ocean haired girl drew back the string of her bow, taking her time to balance herself and aim for the center of the target. She guided her hand and positioned her aim carefully, ready to fire the arrow. Her hands began to tremble and the draw strength of her longbow was starting to take a toll on her right arm. She was nervous, unsteady, and worried.

On an average day she could easily hit her target, but something was holding Umi back today. She took a deep breath and let go. The arrow sped past her bow hand making a slight snapping sound as the bow returned to its normal state. The arrow pierced through the air and penetrated the target.

It was off center.

* * *

Umi sighed and heard a faint clapping from behind. "That was so cool, Umi-chan!" yelled a cheerful voice.

Umi turned her head back to face the voice, "I didn't hit the center, sorry Kotori..."

Kotori smiled back, "it's okay Umi-chan, you'll hit it next time," she made a small guts pose, slightly imitating their friend Honoka, "you can do it, Umi-chan, fighto-daiyo!"

Umi returned Kotori's optimism with a cheerful smile and turned her head to face her target once again. Her smile had disappeared from her face, she looked down at her feet disheartened. Taking a deep breath, she readied her bow once again; adjusting her aim before she paused, thinking to herself.

"Please... stop being so kind and smiling at me like that..."

Umi let go and the shot rang out through the room. A single tear rolled down her depressed face.

"I know that smile isn't for me..."

* * *

Umi finished practice and joined her two friends as they walked home together. She trailed behind the two, staring at her feet as she listened to the two gossip. It pained her to look up at them, every time she saw them having fun and getting closer ripped Umi's heart little by little. She couldn't understand how to feel about it. Should she be happy that her two closest friends are getting even closer? Or is she be bitter about becoming unneeded?

The girl she loves... loves another.

The group had reached Honoka's home, this is the point where they separate and its just the two of them. Umi hated to admit it, but she was always relieved when Honoka was gone. She finally gets to spend a little more time with Kotori alone.

"Hey! How about you two come in for some tea and snacks?" Honoka exclaimed.

"Sure that sounds great!" Kotori replied with a smile.

Umi gazed at Kotori's smile before looking away from the two, "... I can't..." Umi turned around, "I... have some studying and homework to do..."

"O-oh... maybe next time then?" Honoka replied. The ginger haired girl looked back at Kotori, "So get this Kotori, I heard that-"

Umi sped up her pace until she couldn't hear the two's joyful conversation. She paced quickly, her head filled with dark thoughts as she blindly walked. She didn't want Kotori to be taken away, but at the same time, she couldn't be selfish, "Kotori loves Honoka..." she muttered over and over again. Umi broke into a run and crashed into another person, knocking the both of them on their butts. Umi rubbed her behind before she started to apologize profusely, "I am so sorry, I wasn't looking at where I was going and-"

"Umi?" the voice called out.

Umi looked up to see herself come face to face with Eli, "E-Eli?" she muttered.

"H-Hey! Umi why're crying?!" Eli quickly dug into her bag for a handkerchief and started wiping Umi's face.

"Huh? I'm... crying?" Umi didn't notice until now. The dampness of her skin, the salty taste in her mouth. She had been crying the whole time after she left Kotori and Honoka. She looked up at Eli and grasped onto her before breaking down.

"Umi! What's wrong?! What happened?!" Eli was taken by surprise. Umi cried into her shoulder, and her shirt became wet with warm tears. Eli didn't know what to say or do. Umi, the girl who had always kept a calm and leveled head was right here in her arms, crying like she'd never seen before.

"P-please... just... let me stay like this for a few more moments... please..." she was able to utter those words in between her broken breaths.

Eli remained speechless and let the girl cry into her shoulder. Her shirt progressively got wet, expanding downwards as she reached her hand out to pat Umi's head for comfort. She looked up towards the twilight sky illuminated by the sunset and listened quietly to the girl's broken sobs. Umi progressively began to quiet down as time passed, "Umi?" Eli spoke up.

"Hm.." Umi replied with a weakened voice, her head still buried against Eli's shoulder.

"I…" Eli stopped to choose her words carefully. "It's not my business to pry into this, but if you need to talk about it… I'm here for you."

"Mm…" Umi mumbled while nodding.

"Come on, get up," Eli slowly got to her feet, helping Umi as well, "Let's go talk in a place more comfortable than the street…" she took a hold of Umi's hand and led her to a nearby park.

* * *

Eli moved Umi over to a bench and sat down next to her.

"I'll let you talk when you're ready," she said to the girl.

Umi leaned over with her hand on her knees, they were trembling. Eli noticed and reached to place her hands over them.

"It's okay Umi, I won't tell anyone…" she reassured.

Umi's hands began to calm down and she took a deep breath. She positioned herself towards Eli before she began, "U-umm... " she looked around embarrassingly. "I um…" her voice began a slow descent to silence, "...love Kotori…" Umi shut her eyes tightly waiting for the worst possible reply from Eli.

"... Even I could tell," Eli blurted.

"E-ehhhh?!" Umi screeched, "Y-you knew?" Umi turned away and covered her face with her hands.

Eli laughed nervously while scratching her cheek, "W-well I've been keeping an eye on you lately."

Umi turned back and looked at her hands to hide her blush, "...Then…" her voice changed into something darker, "You should know then…" she brought her hands up to her face in attempt to suppress her emotions. "There's… no place for me with them anymore," she continued, "Kotori loves Honoka, and there's nothing that I can do to get rid of this pain in my chest!" Umi brought her hands against her chest and before she knew it, she was yelling.

Umi peered through the corner of her eye to see Eli's reaction, surprisingly it was calm. She buried her face into her hands and continued, "I… I don't know what I should do… They're my dearest friends and I can't stand the thought of having to hurt them because of my own selfishness. I love Kotori, but I can't find it in me to separate them. At the same time, I'm scared that I'm going to be left behind and drift away from them. I don't know what to do, Eli." she began to cry. The tears streamed down her cheeks and dripped from her chin as they continued, her tears were hot and she could taste the salt once again. The bitterness of love tainted her heart, and it seemed as if nothing could mend it.

She felt a light and warm pressure on top of her head; it was Eli's hand. Umi looked up and Eli brought their faces closer together. She rested her forehead against Umi's and closed her eyes, "I know that feeling too, Umi…" she reached for Umi's hand and traced it with her finger, "It's a very lonely feeling that tugs relentlessly at your heart and it hurts unbearably…"

Umi looked up, "Do you have someone you love like I do, Eli?"

Eli nodded, "Yes I do…" her voice trailed off, "...But that's a different story, I think that you should let Kotori know your true feelings, Umi. It may end horribly, or it may end up well, but you'll never know if you don't speak up. It's better to have closure than none at all, right?" Eli smiled awkwardly and backed away from Umi.

Umi looked down and remained silent for a few moments. She looked away still uncertain, "I'll… I'll try, but… it may take a while…"

Eli patted Umi's back, "Take all the time you need," she comforted.

The two sat together on the park bench for another hour talking about their day before they headed home. Umi turned back to wave Eli goodbye, "Thanks for listening to me, Eli, and thanks for the advice. I'm feeling better now!" she smiled and walked off.

Eli stood there waving back before dropping her hand and letting out a doubtful snicker, "Yeah… I'm one to talk about true feelings…" she watched Umi's back as she ran off. "If only I could tell you my feelings as well…"

* * *

A few months have passed since that night. Umi still hadn't talked to Kotori about her feelings, but she did plan to tell her after their last live performance. μ's had hit a wall when they heard the news from Umi that Kotori was heading overseas to study fashion. Honoka was thrown into a depression as tensions rose between her and Umi and the two haven't spoken since.

Umi stood alone on the rooftop thinking to herself.

"I'm going to be leaving in two weeks to study fashion abroad."

Those words flooded Umi's head, she felt so many confused emotions all at once. Yet, she couldn't identify how she really felt. Was she angry that Kotori didn't tell the group? Was she sad because the girl she loved is being taken even farther away than she already was? Was she… glad that this would mean Kotori and Honoka wouldn't be together?

Umi held her head as these thoughts raced through her mind. Tears started rolling down her cheeks endlessly as she collapsed, hugging her knees to her chest. She cried in this little form like she never had before, and there were no signs of it ending anytime soon. Her sobs filled the silence of the rooftop.

The sound of her sobbing faltered when the rooftop echoed the opening of the door followed by lone footsteps. Umi quickly got up to her feet, dried her eyes and leaned against the fence. She kept her eyes glued to the ground as the footsteps grew louder. She shut her eyes in anticipation, she didn't want to be seen like this, especially in front of Honoka. She tried her hardest to hold her tears back.

"Umi…" the voice called out.

Umi looked up slowly with tearful eyes to see Eli.

"E-Eli?" Umi sniffled and wiped her eyes, "thank god it's just you…" her tears started to form again.

Eli looked at Umi with concern, "Umi… I'm here, let's talk. It's not good to hold everything in, you know." Eli took a hold of Umi's hand and sat her down.

"Thank you, Eli… I… I just-" her tears started rolling again. "I'm so confused!" she hugged onto Eli's arm as if her life depended on it. "I should be sad that Kotori is leaving right?! But at the same time, I can't help but feel relieved that she won't be around Honoka anymore." Eli started patting Umi's head, "How can I think like that? What's wrong with me, Eli? Am I a terrible friend? Am I a horrible friend for wanting the unhappiness of my closest friends so I can feel like I still have a chance?" she cried unrelentlessly.

Unable to resist, Eli grabbed Umi and hugged her tightly, catching the crying girl off guard, "You're not a horrible person, Umi… We will always be trapped in a corner by our emotions whenever something happens to our special someone. We will bite back at these emotions but… these emotions are our own. We are fighting against it and in the end, we are doing nothing but hurting ourselves." Eli loosened her hug around Umi and brought their faces to the same level. "These emotions that you're feeling are clouded, Umi. If you don't remain calm and think rationally like you always do, it will get only worse and worse… Have you spoken to Kotori yet about your feelings?"

Umi rubbed her eyes, "N-no, not yet, I was going to talk to her about it after our last live."

"Umi!" Eli yelled, causing the girl to jump. "Kotori is going to be leaving tomorrow, you have to tell her your feelings or else you're going to regret it further down the road!" Eli paused as she felt the girl tremble in her arms, "I-I'm sorry, Umi… I didn't mean to yell."

"N-no…" Umi muttered with the strength she had left, "You're right…"

Eli took a hold of her shoulders, "Listen to me, Umi. You have to do this, no matter what answer you get from her, you need to have your closure," she sighed. "Look… Kotori is leaving at noon tomorrow and I already beckoned and convinced Honoka to do something before Kotori leaves. You should get there before she does, if not, you will back down and never get your feelings out."

Umi looked up at Eli, "D-do you think that I can do that…?"

"You have to, I know you can." Eli replied sternly.

Umi paused and thought. She knew that Eli was probably right, she knew now that if she couldn't tell Kotori her feelings, she would end up regretting it and live her life always asking, "what if...?" she looked at Eli determined and nodded with confidence, "you're right Eli, I have to do this. I'll talk with Kotori before Honoka gets there. And whether I'm rejected or not... at least I tried... right?"

Eli nodded and hugged Umi again.

"Thank you so much for being here for me Eli. You're an amazing friend, and Nozomi is a lucky girl" she joked.

"N-Nozomi? Oh, no it's not like that with her... I like someone else," Eli turned her head away and blushed.

"Well whoever they are, they're the luckiest person on the planet to have someone as admirable as you to like them," Umi smiled.

Eli's face burned up as her cheeks increased in redness.

"Y-You're too kind..." she looked away from Umi and smiled.

Umi finished wiping away her tears and stood up with a determined pose, "Tomorrow, I will definitely tell her my feelings! Thank you again Eli!" she trotted off, leaving Eli alone on the rooftop.

Several minutes passed while Eli looked up at the sky. Her concentration broke when she heard footsteps approaching her.

"How did it go, Elichi?"

Eli shifted her gaze from the sky onto the girl, "I was able to convince her to go, and it looks like she's determined to get her feelings out this time."

"Hmm? Look at Elichi trying so hard for the girl she loves, I'm kind of jealous."

"N-Nozomi!" Eli blurted out to the blunt comment.

Nozomi giggled before she took on a serious tone, "you know, you're not being true to your own feelings either... what are you going to do if Kotori does feel something for Umi in return?"

"W-well..." Eli hesitated.

"Listen to me Elichi…"

* * *

Umi woke up early enough to get dressed before she rushed to the airport. It was 9:00 and Kotori should already be on her way. She briskly jogged in the direction of the train station, barely making it in time for her train. Umi sat down and took a deep breath while going over what she needed to say to Kotori. She spent a good amount of time the night before writing down her thoughts and all she has to do now is be able to express those to Kotori. The train ride took about an hour and Umi stepped off the platform, determined as she walked towards the airport entrance.

Umi took out a scrap of paper that had the flight number that Kotori was going to get on, "Hmm… it should be this way," Umi took a left and walked briskly in search of Kotori. Before she knew it, Umi found herself lost among the crowd. She groaned heavily, "Ugh… 27…. 27…. Where is it?!" Umi felt a bump on her back and turned around to see a familiar face.

"Hmm? Umi? Are you here to see Kotori off?" a motherly voice spoke.

"H-Hi , y-yeah I'm a little lost," Umi replied nervously.

"Oh, follow me then, I'll take her to you." Kotori's mother led Umi through the crowd for a couple of minutes before they made it into a clearing, "There she is, I'll leave you two so you can say your goodbyes." Kotori's mother walked forward and took a seat in a nearby waiting area.

Umi nervously stepped towards Kotori, her heart started racing and she started to sweat a little. She thought she was ready to convey her feelings, but now that she's here, each step she took was heavy. Her heartbeats vibrated her entire body and her shortness of breath felt like she was getting suffocated.

"U-Umi-chan?" a voice called out.

Umi broke out of her violent trance when the voice rang through her ears. Her vision focused again to see Kotori jogging up to her.

"Hey Umi-chan, I thought you said you weren't coming?" the girl asked.

Umi's voice was caught in her throat, "ah.."

"You really surprised me, I wasn't expecting you to see me off. Did you come alone?" Kotori took a deep breath, "I just want to say, thank you for being friends with me for so long, Umi-chan. I hope that once we finish our studies we can all meet up and have fun again." Kotori skipped over and embraced Umi, "I'm really going to miss you all. So much."

Umi trembled and clenched her fists. She took a hold of Kotori's shoulders and pushed Kotori off of herself, "Kotori… I…. I have to talk to you about something…"

"U-Umi-chan…? What is it?" Kotori was taken by surprise.

"Kotori… before you go, I wanted to let you know… That I… I love you Kotori…" Umi was able to say it.

"U-Umi-chan?" Kotori whispered.

"I.. I know that you love someone else… But, I had to let you know about my feelings before you left. I know that it might not do anything, but I had to tell you because I no longer want to keep thinking, 'what if…' I know that there isn't enough room for me in your heart anymore… so…" Umi looked up at Kotori with tears in her eyes. "Goodbye Kotori," she forced a smile before turning to run off without a reply.

"U-Umi-chan, wait!" Kotori chased after her.

Knowing what would happen if Kotori caught her, Umi quickly ran into the large crowd and weaved through the sea of people towards the exit. Her tears flooded her vision, she couldn't see exactly where she was going and bumped into numerous people constantly exclaiming, "I'm sorry." She reached her hand out and burst out of the crowd into a clearing. She bent over, breathing heavily as the tears wouldn't stop.

"Umi-chan!" Kotori called out from behind. She was on Umi's tail, but the crowd of people slowed her down for a second.

Umi's back straightened and she rushed through the exit with Kotori pursuing soon after. She rushed down the steps covering her face as she passed a familiar group of girls.

"Kotori!" an energetic voice rang.

Umi reached the bottom of the stairs before looking back to see Honoka hugging onto Kotori at the top. They were surrounded by the rest of the group and Umi quickly fled so that she wasn't seen.

"Kotori, don't go!" Honoka begged the girl.

"H-Honoka-chan? Hold on I was just-" Kotori was interrupted by Honoka's tightened hug.

"Please don't go Kotori, I love you!" Honoka yelled at the top of her lungs.

"I-I love you too Honoka-chan, but I have to-" Kotori was interrupted again.

"Where's your mom? I'm going to go talk with her about making you stay!" Honoka said while dragging Kotori back into the airport.

"Honoka-chan! I said to hold on!~" Kotori helplessly pleaded.

The rest of the group followed them except for Nozomi and Eli.

"You saw who was running down the stairs right, Elichi?" Nozomi looked at Eli.

"Y-yeah… That was Umi wasn't it." Eli said sadly.

"Go after her."

Eli flinched to her response, "Wh-What? Isn't it too soon?!"

Nozomi waved her finger in a disagreeing manner, "You remember what we talked about on the rooftop, she needs somebody right now, and the only person that is fit for that role is you, Eli."

"Are… Are you sure?" Eli looked at Nozomi with concern.

"Umi was able to do it. Now its your turn." Nozomi turned Eli around and gave her a little push.

"O-okay…" Eli started walking down the stairs reluctantly.

"I'll take care of Honoka and Kotori, don't worry. It's your turn to be happy, Eli." Nozomi smiled and turned around, heading into the airport with the others.

Eli waited until Nozomi disappeared before breaking into a sprint down the stairs, almost losing her footing a number of times. She turned the corner and searched for Umi, she caught a glimpse of the ocean blue hair that waved around a corner. Eli sped up as quickly as she could, racing to catch up to Umi.

Eli continued to chase after her until the two of them arrived at the train station. Eli turned the corner and placed her hand on the wall to support herself. She was out of breath, her lungs burned, her legs ached and her body rung with each pulse. She was breathing heavily, but she couldn't stop here. Eli looked up to see the ocean haired maiden waiting behind a small line of people getting onto the train. Eli took a deep breath and yelled, "UMIIII!" before finally catching up with her.

The girl looked back with a few tears in her eyes; they lit up as she saw the panting blonde. Umi pivoted her feet towards Eli to face her and smiled brightly.

Eli's heart skipped a beat, Umi had never smiled like that before in front of her.

"I finally did it, Eli… Thank you for everything" she said.

Eli took the time to catch her breath and looked into Umi's eyes, "I-I have something I have to tell you."

Umi smiled the same way again, "Tell me on the way home."

The two sat next together on the train and spoke casually as well as joking about a few things. Umi seemed to have returned to her normal self after having the weight lifted off of her shoulders. Eli changed to a more serious tone, "So, the thing I wanted to talk to you about…"

Umi turned to face Eli, "Yeah, what did you want to talk about?"

"Well…" Eli hesitated and played with her hands. Umi took a hold of them and looked into Eli's eyes.

"Don't worry about it, I won't make fun of you," Umi smiled.

Eli blushed at the sight before speaking, "I… I'm not sure if it's the right time to say it though."

Umi blinked and stared blankly at Eli, "What do you mean? Why wouldn't it be the right time?"

Eli laughed nervously, "W-well… you know… it kind of involves you," she wiggled in her seat sheepishly, "and you just went through a painful moment so…"

Umi put her hand on Eli's shoulder, "I'm alright, I feel a lot better now than before. So tell me, it's my turn to listen to you now." she smiled again.

Eli blushed again and looked down at her legs, "Okay… So… Umm…" Eli looked up and their eyes met, causing her to quickly look away in embarrassment. "... I…" her voice quickly descended in volume, "...ve you."

"What was that?" Umi questioned, "I couldn't hear you, could you say it again?"

"I… love you, Umi…" Eli slowly looked up at her.

"Y-you do?! I always thought you liked Nozomi," Umi questioned as her cheeks almost instantly turned red.

Eli shook her head and looked away, "I-it was always you,"

Umi backed away a little bit and turned the opposite direction patting herself down and fixing her hair, "Th-there's no way, a plain girl like me…"

Eli moved closer and extended her hand over to Umi's cheek, slightly turning it to face her, "No, you're the most wonderful person I've ever met, I wouldn't want anyone else but you, Umi."

Umi's face burned with more embarrassment, she wasn't expecting a confession from someone like Eli. She didn't even pick up any signs or signals from her. "H-how come I've never seen any signs from you?"

"Well… You're kind of bad with romance." she laughed nervously.

Umi cleared her throat before speaking again, "W-well… if you're okay with me…"

Eli jumped and held Umi's hand tightly, "Of course I would be okay with you!"

Umi looked away, blushed even more before she started trembling.

"I know that this is so soon after what just happened but," Eli spoke firmly. "I… I may not be Kotori… but I want you to know that I will try my hardest to make you happy."

Umi turned her face away and started trembling more noticeably.

"O-oh… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned Kotori…"

"N-no," Umi sniffled and turned to face her. She smiled and wiped away her tears, "Please take care of me from now on, Eli."

Eli blushed while nodding and stared at Umi's smile. It was the same smile that she saw whenever Umi was with Kotori. The smile that Eli had been yearning for all these months.

She finally got the smile that wasn't her's.


End file.
